


let's grab the heart of the world and turn into the light

by hiza-chan (callunavulgari)



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Character Study, M/M, POV Second Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-12
Updated: 2013-02-12
Packaged: 2017-11-29 01:05:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/680932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/callunavulgari/pseuds/hiza-chan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's Axel that's the imposter, the boy turned monster that Xemnas cultivated himself. With Roxas, you aren't that monster. You're the man that Lea could have been.</p>
            </blockquote>





	let's grab the heart of the world and turn into the light

**Author's Note:**

> Reposted separately from [Literature of Love Under Construction](http://archiveofourown.org/works/653962) because a) this is my favorite Axel centric work I've ever written and b) I want to be able to find it in the future.

You are foolish and you are in love. Age has no jurisdiction for a nobody, but you think if it mattered you would be in your early twenties. So really, you are three cliches: you are young and foolishly in love. If you had a heart, you think it would speed up in your chest when you see him. As it is, your throat just closes up, your breath going ragged when the sun catches against wayward strands of golden hair.  
  
You watch him grow, watch as becomes something that's less of a zombie and more of a _person._ As his expressions go animated, his eyes bright and blue and so very _alive_ that your breath catches in your throat. You have to lay a hand over his ribs before you remember and he eyes you, puzzled. You laugh it off, because that's what you do. That's the person you are to him. To Roxas, you aren't an assassin or a killer or anything other than a man—his friend. The rest of the Organization thinks you're going soft for a pair of brats, but that's the thing. You think you always were soft. You think that when you were Lea you found beauty in sunsets and flowers and birdsong in the morning. You think you were the type of person to walk a little girl home mid-day because you didn't want anything to happen to her.  
  
It's Axel that's the imposter, the boy turned monster that Xemnas cultivated himself. With Roxas, you aren't the monster. You're the man that Lea could have been.  
  
When Roxas walks away from you, rain catching in his lashes and "No one would miss me" on his lips. Well. You forget.  
  
You look for him. Of course you do. He's your best friend and you love him so very much. Saix laughs at you, eyes cold and hard, and you can't find a trace of Isa in him. Not anymore.  
  
When you find Roxas, he doesn't remember you. Then when he finally does, it's too late.  
  
You don't understand emotion, don't know why your chest is tight and your vision blurred. You just know that he beats you. And then he's gone. The end, no more Roxas, no more Lea, no more _Axel_ ; just a monster and a boy with Roxas' face.  
  
For a while, you try to be a monster. You toy with turning the boy into a heartless again just to have Roxas back with you, but in the end, you can't. Even when Roxas isn't Roxas, he still makes you so very _human._  
  
You die for him, because you are young and foolishly in love.  
  
Then you wake up on the other side, Lea again, heart thumping in your chest and a mantra of _RoxasRoxasRoxas_ in your head. You go to him—to the boy who both is and isn't Roxas, and you hurt.  
  
When the keyblade comes for you, Sora eyes you with wonder, and you think that somewhere deep inside of him, Roxas is watching you.  
  
You are young and foolishly in love, and this is not the end.


End file.
